Twist of Plate
by That One Aloof Guy
Summary: Ragna and Rachel were (not) transported into a completely different universe. Coping with living normally like other people, they are accompanied by a bizzare woman who they must rely on. In this place, their task was to defy fate and twist the plot so Logic is alienated. Crack and 4th-Wall Breaking ahead. Volume I in Progress. May change to M for Language and Inappropriate Humor.
1. Volume I - Prologue

**Prologue - How The Hell Did He End Up Here?**

Ragna's brow furrowed from suspicion. The person was dressed in a casual clothing consisting of a red cotton hoodie with a black shirt underneath, dark blue denim pants, and plain white rubber shoes. Despite her generic appearance, the man still felt doubts that he was being deceived. No way in hell would he believe in her unbelievable speech. "Are you sure you're not telling some bad jokes to get something from me?"

The stranger flashed a wide grin as she proudly took out an item from her chest pocket. "No worries, Ragna The Bloodedge, certain to know your companion's location... with the help of this device!"

* * *

The grandfather clock was the only sound on the library room. Inside of the room was two people that were busy browsing a collection of dusty abandoned books. The man, with spiky white hair and a gruff outlook, was giving a boost to a young woman with long, blond hair tied in twin pigtails. The said woman happened to have an idea about reading an old book that may give them some entertainment they need, because there was no other options for them to do. The man lacked interests in reading a book, but if it would somehow lighten up the mood, he obliged. And here they were, finding a rare book to read. Ragna wanted to complain about how his shoulders ache right now, but he rather endure it than do so. Rachel was one scary bitch. One severe insult directed toward her, you might not be able to meet the day tomorrow.

His pain would be finally over soon as Rachel lightly tapped his right shoulder using her right foot. "Ragna, I'm able to find a rather odd book for us to read. You can now help me get down and rest your shoulders."

Ah, thank heavens! He honestly thought his shoulders would break if he indeed endured longer. "Okay, just," Tch. The complicated step of bringing her down. How he wished she would not pull his hair hard again. "Just please don't mess my hair again!"

Carefully grabbing a fistful of white hair as a way to balance herself, she slowly crouched down while holding the book, as Ragna did the same, but rather more slowly. After a few moments, the woman was finally on the ground, with the man swinging his arms to lessen the pain. She was aware that the dust could get in her dress, but she didn't mind for today. Valkenhayn would rid of it as he do his washing duties tomorrow. Wiping the front cover of the book using her hand, she saw no sign of title on it. Strange. It was a plain black book. There was no text written on it.

"What did you find?" Ragna took a look at the book, raising his suspicion at the cover. "Why the hell is there nothing on it?"

All Rachel could reply was a reluctant shake of her head. She honestly had no knowledge about this book, and the way it was set up with a simple black leather cover oozed mystery. She stared at Ragna, determined to open the book with him. "Well then, shall we find out?"

The man nodded firmly. "Of course. No point in staring at it all day long."

The woman flipped the cover open to see an empty, decaying page. Ragna heaved out a heavy sigh. He had a feeling this was supposed to be a journal of some sort, but the owner was unable to write something. Rachel continued to flipped one page to another until she saw something on it. The man scanned the sketch of the book. The drawing depicted a blueprints of an area, or something. There were many texts containing details about a certain part of the sketch, but it was unreadable due to the fading ink. By the way it was made, he assumed it was some sort of a report for something.

"Must be something important. It looks like a report of a certain area." Peering at this one really tested his wits.

"I see you're not as dumb as I thought you would be." A mischievous smirk curved on her lips as she gazed directly at the man. She earned an annoyed growl and a leer as a prize. She could feel his smoldering anger toward her, but she paid no mind as she flipped another page on the book. The back of the page was blank. The owner must be very strict on writing, or was an artist of some kind. The adjacent page was filled with paragraphs that were close to be unreadable. Rachel tried her hardest to analyze every single word written on it, managing to read the sentence on the center.

"Behind... every corner... Around... every... door..." Rachel rapidly blinked her eyelids to refocus her sight. "Deep... in... every window... Te... rror waits...?"

Ragna rose his eyebrow. "What the hell does that even mean?"

The woman shook her head. "I cannot even answer your question." She traced her finger on the words as she recited the sentence again. "Behind every corner. Around every door. Deep in every window. Terror waits."

"Tch, must be a shitty written poem." Ragna crossed his arms as he watched Rachel scanned the rest of the pages. They were either blank, unreadable or hard-to-identify sketches. He felt like this was a waste of time. "Hey rabbit, maybe we should call it a day? Nothing beats sleep when you had nothing good to do."

"It would be a wise decision to do right now." Rachel closed the book and handed it to Ragna. "You will hold onto this book for now, as I will call Valkenhayn to prepare dinner for us."

* * *

Ragna opened his eyes to see himself not on the guest room. Where the hell was he? His head was throbbing like a boiling shit inside a plastic pot. The area he was currently in was dimmed that he could barely made out anything. And it smelled so bad he wondered how the hell he could survived it while unconscious. Ah, whatever. Was he standing up already? Now it was not making sense now. He recalled lying down on the bed with the book on the nightstand, as Rachel was still on the bathroom. Eh, no point in reminiscing in this shit hole, he needed to get a move on.

He trudged forward, unsure whether to turn in either direction or only forward. He chose to do the latter, as the area was becoming more brighter each few steps he took. Few more steps forward, he stopped his tracks as a figure was coming to his direction. Ragna could not see the figure's face due his hood blocking his face. He stopped to face the man, revealing that he was a woman.

Ragna let out a grim scowl. "Who the hell are you?"

The woman removed her hood, her long, chestnut brown hair was neatly tied in a ponytail. Her rich brown eyes gazed directly at his red and green eyes, as she let out a small smirk. "Name's Ace Thompson. Nice to meet you, Ragna The Bloodedge."

His heart skipped a beat upon hearing his name. How the hell did this woman knew his name? Was she a member of the NOL? Or Sector Seven? He leered toward her. He was having a hunch that this woman was dangerous.

Being able to read a person's expression, Ace raised her hands in a defensive manner. "No need to be alarmed. Look, you must listen to me."

"And why should I do it?"

The woman placed both of her hands on her hips, her smirk resurfaced on her lips. "I know where Rachel Alucard is right now."

* * *

**A/N:** This is going to be my bizarre story that I'd ever written. Beware of insane events as this story progresses. Hope you all stay tuned.

**Update as of 30/11/15: **Little tweaks on the sentences from here and there. As of the new title, this is **Volume I **of this gimmicky series. It means that there will be more than two volumes, that I don't feel like making a sequel, because I have to rework the title of this one again and that is a chore to do. Instead, I'll make a volume series on this story alone so I can continue what I originally planned as I add more plot twists on the things I was planning to do before I ended up on a Hiatus.


	2. Volume I - Chapter One

**Chapter 1 - Strange, Unrealistic Events Are Normal**

* * *

It was a small, black rectangular device that was too high-tech for him to even know what it was. He had no interest nor knowledge about technology, which is understandable with his life. And even so, Ragna was positive he never saw that one before, not even with the stuff Kokonoe possessed. The woman was already on his side, startling him to death that made his blood boil.

She waved the device on his face like a cocky kid owning the best cigarette in town. "This is a normal looking smartphone... with a twist!"

"A... smartphone?" The man tilted his head to his left. This chick wasn't making any sense. What the hell was that square object she was holding, and the hell's the meaning of "smartphone"? He was very inept when it comes to technology. This strange woman might be one of the workers of Sector Seven, but her appearance proves nothing about being connected with them.

The woman gave him a puzzled look. "You don't know what a smartphone is?"

"What the hell's that, anyway?" Leering, he readied his right hand to reach his sword on his back. Grasping for his sword, he grew more worried as he did not feel the hilt of it at all. He felt his back, and there was no sign of his weapon. Where the hell did it go? Did someone stole it away from him when he was asleep? Or worse, he left it somewhere? Dammit, faulty memory, you suck!

"Uh... hello?" Ace tapped her right foot repeatedly as she watched him find something behind his back. "You really had nothing on your back when I saw you."

"My sword... Where did it disappeared?" He was starting to sweat. Ragna felt himself more vulnerable to attacks. Without it, fighting enemies would be more difficult.

The woman placed her palm on her face. Grudgingly, she took out a small notepad from her pants pocket. She flipped the notepad until she read the desired page. "According to this scene, you're suppose to be a regular on this town."

Ragna scowled. What she blurted out was bullshit. "What are you talking about?" All he could recall was he was already on his foot when he wake up.

"Well..." She averted her gaze to the sky, placing her index finger on her chin. "You see that text on the sky?"

"What?" Confused and had no idea what's really going on, he looked up, and there was indeed a text on the sky. Actual letters you see written everywhere. A text that was pasted in the sky. He wondered if he was dreaming, but the foul smell from earlier and how he could actually feel his back says otherwise. Silently, he read the wall of text.

_Ragna and Rachel were transported into a different universe, that's nowhere like the place they live. Coping with living normally like other people, they are accompanied by a rather bizarre woman that was more than they thought she would be. Defying fate and flipping the events, the three will twist both the plot and the fate of things they would encounter. 4th-Wall Breaking ahead._

So the bizzare woman this text was implying was the woman in front of him, he and Rachel were somehow transported to a different universe? Ragna tried to recall the events that transpired before they went in here, but to no avail. He really couldn't remember a thing. His memory was in a total blank; no trace of ideas about what he did before waking up.

He turned to gaze at her again. She was grinning like a complete idiot. The man groaned. Ragna had no choice but to trust this weird woman. "So, how do we find her?"

Ace mischievously stuck her tongue out. "Now we're talking. Take this." She threw a small black item at him.

Ragna caught it with ease. He recognized it as a small earpiece. "Why do I need this?"

She was already walking away from him, as she signal her right hand to come. "In case we got separated. Better safe than sorry."

Shrugging, he followed suit. His only option was to follow the woman. Better than getting lost and possibly get killed in the process. He attached the earpiece on his right ear to obey her command. The man should probably ask her about how to turn on the earpiece later. From what he could understand, they were exiting the dark alleyway since he could see a bright path ahead.

Few more steps of walking, they were now on the pavement of a bustling big city. People seem to be quite busy on their own accord as nobody paid any attention to them at all. They just came from the alleyway, yet no one took notice. Ragna never thought he would actually step on foot on a big city without fighting any enemies. But this place wasn't for him, he had someone to find, and properly talk to this woman.

Ace turned to look back at her new companion, who was still muddled on the current situation. She smirked, her face gleaming with intense excitement for the next chapter of the Story they where in. The woman faced her front, as she waved a hand in the air. "Hey, Cameraman Number Four, say hi to your colleagues for me!"

Cameraman 4 zoomed his camera closer to the woman's face, uttering no word. Ragna was even more dumbfounded on what he had witnessed. At first he thought the woman was delusional, but then he witnessed the sudden appearance of a camera man in front of her. Just what the hell was going on in here? And why did everything don't make the most logical sense?

Ace approached Ragna with the speed of light and placed an arm around him. "Also, welcome my new companion for today, Mr. Ragna The Bloodedge!"

Sounds of cheering echoed their surroundings. None of these made any real sense, like the actual sense was thrown out of the window and was replaced by this screwed-up scenes. The camera pans on Ragna's face, zooming to his nose. Ragna punched the camera from anger, but his fist shot through it without damaging it. He let out a groan of defeat. Ace chuckled in response of his act. Ragna wanted to go back to where he actually belong. This was really getting on his nerves, and he might not be able to endure any longer to hold his nervous breakdown.

* * *

**Update as of 30/11/15: **Minor revision like the last chapter. Nothing special. Just expect weird scenes and corny jokes as it progress.


	3. Volume I - Chapter Two - Start

**A/N: **The previous chapters were cleaned up in order for this chapter to exist.

**Chapter Two: Before Heading Off To The Main Mission, Here's A Sub-Quest**

* * *

Cameraman Four strafed to the left as it followed the duo on their side. Ragna's scowl never diminished, it was still there when they started walking. Ace whistled a tune as she occasionally skipped along the way, unintentionally pissing the man behind her. It felt like days when they started walking until finally, after going left, turning right, making a u-turn, backtracking, and running in circles, they arrived at a old-looking big apartment. It had huge space and land that one could say someone bought the lot from the apartment owner to design it to his desire. People paid no mind on their arrival, even though someone was close to Ragna's side.

Ace turned around to face her grumpy companion. She held out her hand to the side, presenting the obvious. "Here we are! It's an apartment, where you sleep, eat, do things-"

"Cut the shit and tell me where to find Rachel!" Ragna gave her a glare, making sure his seriousness passed on her skull. "I don't want to waste anymore time with you, woman!"

"Chill, man! Chill!" She raised her hands, startled at the tone of his voice. "Get some chill pill, or something!"

His brow furrowed deeper. "If you don't shut your mouth from saying nonsense, I'm going to kill you and find her on my own. I rather search aimlessly than put up with your bullshit."

She frowned and crossed her arms. "Man, you're impatient. If you really want to find her, you have to familiarize yourself with the environment first. And kill me?" Pouting, she rubbed her eyes like a child. "How could you be so mean? I didn't do anything bad to you, I just want to help."

Guess he crossed the line too far. Then again, judging by how this woman acted, she may not be offended at all. "I don't give a shit about you. I just want to go back to where we truly belong, and I can't without Rachel with me."

Ace snapped her fingers, her lips curving in a satisfied smirk. "That's the Ragna fans know and love! Atta boy!" Whatever he spat toward her, no matter how negative it is, she was unfazed.

Sounds of cheer played on the background again, as Cameraman Three positioned himself towards Ragna, completely defying texture as he just passed through Ace, making a mismashed image of her and the cameraman combined. Ragna really wanted to punch this guy, but remembering what happened when he punched the other cameraman, he held back.

The woman leaned toward his direction, wiggling her eyebrows. "You really want to know where Rachel is?"

"Yeah, yeah, now hurry up and tell me." If he stayed mad for too long, he may meet his end before his time. He need to get his feelings in check, do not snap often, and keep his head cool. "Where can I find her?"

"Before we can find out..." Cameraman Four panned his camera to Ace's face. "...if Ragna will know the truth in this chapter, and if Rachel is safe and sound, find out in this chapter after a commercial break!"

Disappointed moans and groans filled the place, even though nobody opened their mouth to protests. Then he noticed something... weird. Everything was fading to black. Darkness slowly enveloped his surroundings, until it was slowly inching closer to where he was. Ace was already engulfed by the black matter, whatever that is. Though her annoying grin never faded.

"Hey! What the hell's happening?!"

* * *

A sign that says, "Commercial Break #1" was in front of the screen. Then someone screamed, "Roll the tape!", making the sign slide to the left. The room was practically empty. Dull, white walls and a wooden floor. No furnitures. It was practically an abandoned room with nothing in it, yet Camera Man Number 12 kept rolling the tape as he entertained himself by playing Criminal Chest on his WiiPhone.

"Hey, where are the casts?!" A voice boomed in the background. The Camera Man assumed its the director, and paid no mind as he was close on solving the case. Almost there, just five more items to go before time runs out. Imitating the speed of The Flash, his fingers quickly tapped on the screen, as the director keeps screaming to roll the tape on his game, and not on the room.

Another Camera Man entered the room and stopped the tape. So much for the first commercial, yet nobody paid attention to the script. The tip? Stick with the script, or you'll make yourself a clown.

"Get back here, you knocker!" The booming voice made the light equipments rattle from vibration. The Camera Man could only sigh.

* * *

Ragna blinked his eyes to see himself in another area. This time, they were in the front of a hotel building. Wait, they were just standing on the pavement a while ago! How did they get here without moving a muscle?! And what the hell was that shitty commercial that the TV showed out of nowhere? Letting out a deep and heavy sigh, the man reminded himself that this universe was different from where he originally belong, and he needs to get this over it, fast.

"What just happened?" That was his utmost effort to say it in the calmest way possible.

Ace cleared her throat, taking longer than usual. She repeatedly did it while coughing, making Ragna wonder how long would it took for her to "clean" her throat. After what seemed like forever, the woman flashed a goofy grin. She placed her hands on her hips, imitating the pose of Superman, a superhero Ragna never know. The man just scratched his head and kept his mouth shut.

"So, after that epic fail commercial, let's get down to business!" She curved her lips to a smirk, as smug as she can to piss him off.

"Now we're talking."

"Before that..." Grinning, she wiggled a finger to his direction to tease him, which she succeeded.

"What?!" She was getting too far with her corny antics. He swiftly approached the woman and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt. "Get to the fucking business already!"

She could clearly see the burning anger and hatred directly from his eyes. She grinned, contented by the fact that she's close to blowing the lid off his sanity. Damn, her role was the easiest: be the annoying Original Character featured in this Story so nobody will bother shipping her with Ragna. "Yes! Now that's what I'm talking about! Be mad, be very mad!" Her eyes went wide as she cackled like a madman.

The man quickly let go of his hands, slowly backing away from her. "Hey, what the hell?!" She just turned batshit insane in a matter of seconds?!

What's made even worse was that Ace was busy doing fist bumps as the background changed into sparkling bright neon lights flashing in any direction, strangely unable to blind their eyes nor bother the townsfolks that didn't give a single damn about them. Ragna didn't know if it's from his insanity, but he was starting to hear an actual music in the area. It was clear like you're listening directly to it. What the music was, Ragna didn't know.

**CUT!**

Ragna blinked his eyes to see Ace waving her hands in front of him.

"There we go! Something the matter?" The woman cocked her head to the left, crossing her arms.

If it was a dream or reality, he was glad it was over. "It's nothing. Anyway, what should we do?"

She handed him a small book and a handmade decoder. The book title was too weird for him to even read, and it seemed that the decoder was also included on the mini book. "Before you head out to your main objective, which is obviously saving Rachel, first you have to familiarize yourself in the environment."

"Familiarize, huh? Well, it can't be helped."

Sighing, he took the items and pocketed it somehow. It just up and disappeared in his hands, and another random text was displayed in front of him:

_Obtained **Tutorial For Newbs: Boredom Buster Edition**_

_ Obtained **Kickass Borderm Buster** **Decoder**_

This kind of shit was normal to this place, keep your head cool, follow this woman's words so we can go home. Chanting that in his head, it worked. He moved his head to the side to see another text. It was a list of Objectives he had to do.

**Main Objective:**

_Meet Ace Thompson – Check_

_Adapt – Unchecked_

_Find Rachel Alucard – Unchecked _

**Side Quests:**

_Finish __**Tutorial For Newbs: Boredom Buster Edition**__ – Unchecked_

The tutorial sentence was the only thing that was highlighted. If he had to use his common sense, that means that's his main priority. "I have to finish this tutorial stuff before I can learn more about here?"

Ace grinned, giving him a thumbs up. "Yes. Glad you're getting the hang of it!" She gave him a short applause. "Look, I don't want to talk like a regular Non-Player-Compatible Character that dotes on you on what to do. It'll only waste time, my breath, my saliva, the time the readers have to read this, and the page."

"Yeah, yeah, enough with that. So, when will the tutorial start?"

"Next chapter." Grinning, she started to move to the building while signalling a hand to follow her. "You still need to learn more about stuff so the next chapter isn't about me discussing 4th-Wall Breaking stuff that will only bore readers, plus helping you understand the rambles I spat."

Ragna shrugged and followed suit. "As long as I can go to the main thing, I'm in. I just hope my sanity's still intact after this."


	4. Volume I - Chapter Two - End

After the off-screen discussion about 4th Wall Breakage, Ragna's role in Volume I, Ace's Role, Commercial Break, Storm Surges, Climate Change, Losing Motivation, Suicide Attempts, and a slap of motivation, Ace gave him a big-ass grin that would definitely scar Ragna if he hadn't accepted the whole place-filled-with-literal-crack-you-just-need-to-deal-with-it scenario.

The man in question just stared at this stupid decoder that was cheaply made from paper. In every objective he'd finished, there was going to be a bunch of letters he needed to decipher to find a clue on his next task. Hard challenge were one thing, but this was dumb, and he had no choice but to accept it as a norm.

"After I finished all of this bullsheat, we can finally get to the main point and find Rachel?" He was exasperated from the lecture earlier. He fully understand why the rabbit hated boredom so damn much.

"Yes indeed!" She covered her mouth with her fists, loud chuckles escaping from her lips. "Ready to get started with your first Main Main Sub-quest in order to proceed?"

Cameraman 32 averted his tool to focus on Ragna's face, the lens was too close on him. He paid it no mind, pretending said cameraman doesn't exist right now.

"Yes." Not like he had a choice, anyway.

In their location, a song suddenly blared in every direction. Loud, obnoxious rock music, Japanese Music that made him think about Bang Shishigami. If he was in good mood, the said music would keep his spirits up, but the way it randomly played made his mood worse than sour milk. Of course, his comfort in sitting the soft sofa would diminish as the room was swallowed by darkness.

* * *

_**Loading...**_

_**Mission Objective: **Finish **Tutorial For Newbs: Boredom Buster Edition **_

_**Day 1: **Adaptation and Bonding _

_**Decipher: **Wheel – K = UQNU5W TWKU5 WHNLBVW_

_**Character: **Ragna The Bloodedge_

_**Loading... Complete.**_

* * *

From a luxurious hotel living room, where fancy decorations filled the wide area, perfectly capturing the elegant mood intended... to skin-piercing, light-blinding summer heat! How the hell did went here instantly, he had no clue. Oh yeah, speaking of the random letters in the dark, he _had_ to adapt to his environment. He knew that, this lunatic of a woman already reiterate that. What the hell did _bonding _meant?! He's going to have bonding time with her?! Hell no!

Okay, first, observe if you're chest naked. Ragna glanced down to see he was _still_ in his regular clothing, that was good. Now to find that insane woman and ask her more about... whatever the text means. He trudged forward, his footsteps made noises thanks to the sand. After what seemed like forever, his communication device beeped once, it wasn't low, but loud enough for him to hear. He fetched it inside his pocket and placed it on his ear.

"Yeah?"

"_Good! You know how to use it!_"

Ragna groaned internally. "Seriously, I'm not that _dumb_ to make this shit works! Anyway," He looked left and right, trying to find her whereabouts. "How the hell did we got separated?!"

"_I was left behind. You do need to "bond" with your new companion!_"

She was... left behind?! "What the hell?! What do you mean left behind?! Are you ditching my ass to suffer?!"

"_No, no!_" Good, she sounded genuinely concerned. "_I'm your soon-to-be-remembered sidekick! I can't leave your ass for a second and let you die because you went the wrong path!_"

He could die in here?! Hell no!

"_Have you seen your objective? You're lucky there's no time limit for you to do your task._"

"Objective? Oh, right. One sec." Ragna, having no idea how to make his objective appear, motioned his hands in different directions, moved his feet in a square march, rocked his hips forward and backward, banged his head in air... until nothing appeared in front of him.

Ace cleared her throat. "_I can see you making a fool of yourself, ya know? You jus-_"

His eyes popped wide open, unable to comprehend what she had just said. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! HOW THE EFF COULD YOU SEE ME, IF YOU SAID YOU WERE LEFT BEHIND?! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAY?!"

Ragna just lost it. If this woman was pushing his buttons, she was so successful. She just explained that her role was to guide him through all this shit until he could finally hunt Rachel's location, but she kept screwing with his mind! He just couldn't stand her anymore!

"_Just let me explain the situation, young man._" Her tone of voice changed from her usual quirky tone to something rock serious. "_I know it's going to be a rough transition from something normal to something abnormal. Got that?_"

Okay, he still had no idea how she would act if she was _pissed_, so he'll let it go for now. Don't wanna get to the wrong side of her! "Alright, you win."

"_Great. Now shut up and listen._"

The man grunted. She could had said that in a more nicer words, but whatever. He probably deserved that.

"_I'm still in the living room, believe it or not. The reason why I was left out is because it's _your_ time to shine!_"

Whatever that means, he was glad he was going to be _alone_! Even for a moment, even if it was only temporarily! Ah, a breathe of fresh air!

"_So, ahem! I can see you're getting all fired up to know how to make your objective appear._"

Okay, good. She took it as excitement. She seemed to be in good mood now. Note-to-self: Never show how much you loved being all alone, without her presence, or else you're doomed to die ugly here. "_This is the basics of the basics. You just have to press start!_"

…...

Seagulls squawked in the distance as they dove in the sky, flying in groups. The sun was still high, and the heat never went down. This scenery would be more appreciated if the scene itself was normal. Ragna deeply sighed, breathing in and out to calm himself down. He had no idea how _basic_ it was to press start, where he had no clue what was it to push!

"_Oh... right. I forgot to tell you how. Sorry for making you look like a fool. That's not my intention, honest!_"

Let it go, Ragna. That would be what Rachel will say. Calm your ass down and take a deep breath.

"_You just mentally press start. Sorry for not clarifying it earlier._" Ace could be heard grumbling on the other end._ "Wait, I _did _told you that in our long-ass meeting!_"

Whoops, his fault. Damn his hot-headed, blade swinging nature. He scratched the back of his head, chuckling nervously. "Whoops. My fault on that. I'll try it now."

Just imagine a start button, now he remembered. Man, he needed to keep her words in my from now on. The start had been so embarrassing. Okay, he started imagine a big, square-like black button that has a "Start" label below. Imagining a gigantic finger, it moved to heat the button. Just like that, the scenery around him froze and a box filled with mechanical letters appeared on the upper side of his view.

"Great, I saw it!" Oh, he could still speak.

"_Cool. Take your time with that, the time becomes infinite once you paused it._"

Okay, that sounds like something straight out of video-games, but whatever. He may be _inside_ right now. More questions asked, more answers given.

Inside the box lied his task.

**Day 1: _Adaptation and Bonding_**

**Decipher: _Wheel – K = UQNU5W TWKU5 WHNLBVW_**

**Task: _Do _Day 1 _of _Tutorial For Newbs: Boredom Buster Edition**

Well, the book _is_ a tutorial, after all. It would be easy, he hoped. He dug his pocket, and pulled the said book out. The cover had a weird-ass Robot who was punching the title of the book, with various random titles that he couldn't even comprehend. Seeing the date it was published on the upper right corner, it was around 2014, although it wasn't clear if its A.D. Or not.

Ragna flipped the book open, ignoring the first few pages because he didn't give a damn, and stopped when he saw the designated page. The breeze flew harshly against his direction, almost losing hold of the book. He forgot he "unpaused" the scenery around him.

**Day 1 – Bonding With Stranger **

**In order to fully grasp the reality that your not living in the average world anymore, this task is for you! I'll be your first friend, so you better treat me nice! Let's do ten things that will make our friendship as strong as steel! **

Did this book seriously thinks it's alive and able to talk? The author must be insane. Then again, insanity was the norm in this universe. Shrugging, he read more while he dispel the normality in his mind.

**We're going to have lots of fun as we go along, so let's get this show on the road! **

Reading the few steps inside made him throw the book away. He went to get it back, though. He didn't want to get stuck here in the open. Grumbling, he really had to make a fool of himself. He was thankful no one was around in here, so he was safe. Oh yeah, guess Ace decided to leave him be for now, which is good.

Cameraman 76 slowly approached him. Ragna arched an eyebrow. The cameraman was _sizzling_! He was covered in black clothing, and he was burning! He seemed to not mind it, though, which scared him a bit. Just a bit, keep that in mind.

First thing on the list was to use the book as a chair. Okay, he dumped the book down and placed his ass against it. Huh. It felt comfier than what he imagined. It was pretty cool, too. It saved his ass from getting fried. He observed how Cameraman 76 slowly incinerated from the heat, and was burnt to crisps. Another Cameraman numbered 77 dropped down from the sky. He quickly looked up to see no planes on sight.

The next step was to teach the book how to... _fucking swim_. Beautiful. Simply marvellous. A+ for creativity! Ragna had no choice but to obey. He approached the shore, careful to not accidentally have water splash on his shoes. Turning his head left and right, he concluded it was safe for him to strip off his jacket, hakama and shoes to do the second task. He just didn't feel like going topless, considering Ace could see him, somehow.

Ragna threw the book towards the beach, making a splash as it hit the waters. He trudged to its direction, of course, and took hold of the book. "Alright, "_buddy_"," Stressing the words, he frowned at the book since he was going to pretend its a normal human being who needs to be taught how to swim, "swing your arms around as you repeatedly moved your feet to balance your body." He moved the book, swinging it as it was actually _swimming_, and moved out from the water. "Great job out there, now for the third- what the fuck?!"

The book he was holding was miraculously untouched by water, even it was clearly submerged to the bottom. Well, that was one less problem to deal with. Okay, the third step was to bury it in the sand. Disregarding the fact that he had to leave a space open for it to "breathe", he clawed a hole for the book to have fun being the "sand mummy" and left it for a while. He timed it by dressing up, thankful that no one randomly stole his article of clothing. He noticed that the Cameraman was now number 80 due to the heat.

He better hurry up before he was the very reason why this... stage or whatever ran out of cameramen.

Ragna retrieved the book, which magically went from three inches to 10 feet off the ground. As he glanced up to climb up, he grumbled at the extra work he had to do just to finish these simple steps on "adaptation and bonding" bullshit. Wheezing out from climbing back up with bare hands, he laid down on the sand, noticing that the sky was actually lacking clouds, and the sun actually engulfed the whole thing! If he stayed here any longer, he would be toast for sure!

Ragna lifted the book up to his face level, eyeing the front cover, searching for something deeper. "You know... Ever since we spent so much time together that felt like ages, I know we're here for just a little while." Damn, talking to a book made him feel like he lost his sanity ages ago. "Let's be friends, so we can get off this damn beach that will fry you to crisp, alright?"

A ray of darkness slowly appeared in front of him. It was suppose to be sunshine, but it was already bright out there, so it'll be dark. A basic-looking digital camera slowly descended to the ground, rotating to show off its feature. Ragna stared deadpan at it, rolling his eyes as he reassured himself that this was going to not get on his nerves anymore. He picked it up after the darkness disappeared in a blink of an eye. Imagining a big, red button, he pressed it to pause everything around him, checking his progress.

**Day 1 Progress: _80 Percent Done (4 out of 5 Objectives Complete)_**

Ah, it was close to the finish line! Cameraman 89 zoomed in, capturing the tender moment between a man and a book. Ragna was unaware of his presence, nor cared to even bother checking the status of the cameraman that keeps spawning whenever someone was crippled to ashes.

He turned the camera on, and it was as basic than he thought. All he had to do was input commands, words to be precise. He needed to capture an image showing his book, the tutorial, and himself. He didn't need to smile and all that shit, the book didn't even said he had to. All it needed was an awesome photo, so he used the book as a hat, and pointed at it as he used his other hand to press button. As the camera ejected the photo, he smiled at the result. It look damn awesome.

Everything went to dark afterwards, but he was still conscious. Oh yeah, cracking the code. He pulled out his personal decoder and went to work. Fiddling with the decoder, flipping the pages he skipped, after losing a handful of hair that grows back from his scalp, he finally extracted the words for _**UQNU5W TWKU5 WHNLBVW. **_

**Cliche Beach Episode.**

* * *

"Welcome back." Ace was casually sitting on the sofa, feet resting on the table. Can of soda in one hand, the other hand digging the contents on the bowl on her side. She was definitely enjoying herself, and hopefully, he would too.

Scowling, he sat on the opposite sofa, facing her. "What the hell does the words I decoded mean?"

"You're in the beach, making friends." She popped a handful of popcorn in her mouth, munching them in one go. "It wasn't cliché as the plot suggests, but you did break the law of trope."

"O...kay?" Ragna scratched the back of his head. "Oh, sorry about the Cameramen. They all died."

She shrugged. "No worries. They're immortal, they just change their numbers."

Somehow, he felt like he achieved something big. That's one lesson down. He knew there's more bullshit to come, and he needs to prepare for it. Never lose your sanity, self. Never lose your sanity. It's all for escaping this goddamn, horrible piece of shit of a place, which was actually not that bad, but still. If it was normal, he wouldn't complain.

"I just have to break the law. Sounds easy enough." Ragna muttered to himself, watching how much of a big mouth his companion was when she poured the contents without spilling anything on the couch. Cameraman 94 spun to his direction, breaking the law of physics by going through the couch. Big letters appeared in between them.

**Till next time on... Twist of Plate, Volume I! Ragna The Bloodedge, the new hero with his bizarre sidekick, Ace Thompson! **

Those letters were going to hit on his head soon.

* * *

**Author's Note: **After the long delay, I sort of been busy writing Ace Attorney stories lately. It's hard writing without receiving much feedback and having no fans, so I'm going back to the swing of things in Blazblue. Hopefully, I manage to get back on track on Ragna's character to keep this piece of crack going. Don't be afraid to speak your mind regarding this story.


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